Ispossiblyprofound

I begin this reading in gratitude for the many encouraging words, thoughts of love, and blessing of prayer afforded me during these past months. You have been appreciated and are loved in return. I remain faithful in prayer yet cautiously optimistic. Today, in great faith and hope, we move into what is to be my last chemotherapy treatment. It has from the start been my goal to remain positive as I traverse this journey. Within many unspoken words, deep breath’s, tears, gentle touches, and silence in presence, we have found our way even within this unknown. I am so thankful for the love of my best friend and husband, who has, even in those moments where there were no words to speak, his love has shown in his eyes, felt in his touch, and has been known to be what has afforded me the strength needed to see every new day with hope and joy. We have said all along, we got this…. Today, we see an end.  As I prepare for this last treatment, I will use the experience of the past to make mys...

As you arise from slumber, whether the internal alarm or that resounding cacophony, remember, You are loved. As you reflect upon the vision of your first impression, remember, You are loved. As you take your place in line with the other ants, take a deep breath and remember, You are loved. As you meet that person whose patience may be waning and despair may be greater than they ever imagined, fill your words with kindness and remember, they like you are loved. We all carry burden greater than the another may know. You have yours, I have mine…  Remember, You are loved!

It’s interesting how the day’s that make up the week leading to treatment are an incredible reminder of how it was and what is to come. It often takes me several days now to put thoughts together that have meaning and reflection. I am finding comfort in this process as well. While the struggle remains, reality sets in, energy ebbs and flows, naps are more frequent than history would claim, words and tasks are met with fog and an amount of uncertainty, and the list of worries goes without saying. As I reflect on what has happened since this journey began, I see all that is to be seen, viewed with a new sense of self. I have struggled with my appearance my entire life. To see myself today, where I am physically, I question those years of self-destruction much regret. I have a stronger sense of self than I have had in a while and yet many moments of vulnerability. This too, is part of growth. Tomorrow is treatment day. I stand in amazement of what the physical body can endure. I am ready ...