Skip to main content

The high before the low…

It’s interesting how the day’s that make up the week leading to treatment are an incredible reminder of how it was and what is to come. It often takes me several days now to put thoughts together that have meaning and reflection. I am finding comfort in this process as well.

While the struggle remains, reality sets in, energy ebbs and flows, naps are more frequent than history would claim, words and tasks are met with fog and an amount of uncertainty, and the list of worries goes without saying.

As I reflect on what has happened since this journey began, I see all that is to be seen, viewed with a new sense of self. I have struggled with my appearance my entire life. To see myself today, where I am physically, I question those years of self-destruction much regret. I have a stronger sense of self than I have had in a while and yet many moments of vulnerability. This too, is part of growth.

Tomorrow is treatment day. I stand in amazement of what the physical body can endure. I am ready to meet tomorrow full of great expectations, just as I have from diagnosis to date. I am truly stronger than I know. Thanks everyone for your love and support. 



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

It is hard waiting for the other shoe to drop... this can apply to so many areas of life... financial security... job security... health... children... family... all of these things are difficult enough in their own way... what is most difficult is waiting for another to twist the knife... we as human are such flawed creatures to begin with... with the three fingers that point back as we call out the failure of others... it is enough just to keep the eyes in the back of the head open wide to protect us from the inevitable... often we know that which is about to happen... yet there are times when we never see it coming... it is not always about doing what is right... it is more often about doing what is necessary that gets us into trouble... and there in lies the rub... we do what we feel to be right to make the wheel turn and others just can't bare the thought of not having control... whether gained or earned... and as the aftermath of what is left behind... the question remains......

Treatment #2

There is a great deal of this journey that has left me flummoxed. I rise everyday with a goal to be brave and strong, to defeat the day with grace and determination. This is my code to life for everyday. That sounds like I’ve got it in the bag. Lol! Reality strikes again.  I have made two small solo endeavors in recent weeks but my guy has seen to most of my needs. I am blessed and thankful to have George at my side. Even the effort of the grocery store has proven to slow me up so I am grateful that his effort and heart is assuring that all my steps are guarded by his watchful eye. Bonus… arm candy! Lol! When people refer to chemo fog, trust they speak the truth. I had embarked on my first real solo adventure since my first treatment. I am excited to say the least! I began my adventure by assisting my sister with a lunch for the living center mother had spent the past 2.5 years of life. It is a small thank you to those who shared their caring hands and loving hearts. I will be fore...