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There is such a bigger life outside all that I presume to know... trial by fire... service of deed to show faithfulness... death because of demand... while all that goes on around may seem what is often misunderstood... one should never presume to understand without walking in those shoes... we pray why do innocent suffer... and yet those who grieve do so because of loss... others grieve because of the most awful nature of the act... yet there is a willingness to die on either side... because of faith in the program itself... we can pretend and just hope we are not annihilated... may God grant us each the courage for the coming day...

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So it goes…

As I reflect on the past weeks I am taken by the fact that my hopes and dreams… while still big and positive… have again been placed into a reality that is… adjusted. This business of cancer is a difficult one. Once you think you have seen it all, you see a different view of life… once again. Let me begin by saying that I have been fortunate from the start for the care given by Rocky Mountain Cancer Center, those who work within the walls, those whose care is from behind a desk, and those who are never directly involved in my care but are there nonetheless, leaves you with NO doubt of the care given.  I began my new medication on January 1st. This was used as a land mark day for reference and it just made sense as I seem to have difficulty with the order of my days. My new reality requires that I take a hormone blocker daily knowing that it will require a 5 possibly 10 year commitment.  Edit in… the results of my bone density scan provided additional details, some that I was n...
The memory is a funny being... i see so clearly yesterday... those are the stories we share... our pictures are perfect....full of color... scenes filled with love... life... experience... tasted... treasured... it is part of a bigger picture... i see a life before... when time often stood still just based on a mood... the end of a day... the depth of a moment... captured in time...yet brought to life... through the heart of another... one created in unconditional love... that which brought a light into a world that began dark... story less... distant... misunderstood... yet... as time passed and days of darkness became filled with memories of another day... one who was before a time... who gave an all for the sake of a cause... which unbeknownst to you... your time had not come... yet in the sunrise again on another day... which the heart of this one gave life to another... i for one never felt that truth until I dared to dream... of a small love that would fill a place that was never...
Today is a day of all that I thought it could be and exactly what I imagined... nothing more and even partially... with a raised eyebrow and a crooked lip I can see how much and too many of what is to be expected truly is... how and when did we become this people... this animal... are all humans consumed with a hint of evil... a dash of mean spirit... a hint of personal regret that molds us into... what... evil... mean... vindictive... unjust... vile... yet we must own all of these characteristics... all these feelings... all these truths about who... what