A calendar to mark the days.

I was in affect trained to mark time on a calendar. My siblings can attest. There are special days taught and those that become memories. I have come to a new stage in life where I mark time on the calendar as a reminder of what has been for what may be questionable later. I smile as I think these words. 

I admired my mother for the years she kept a calendar of birthdays and events and was sure to give us a new one at each years end. This is not to say that I also likely rolled my eyes upon receiving. She marked time with ink on calendars but for the later years of life (in my recollection), after she and daddy settled into the Monroe house, she began to journal in books. She likely did it all her life for which I didn’t recognize until one year, as I was packing the car for a return trip to Wisconsin, she asked me to take two boxes of her journals. I reluctantly accepted thinking to myself…. well…. After many months and a few more days, I went through each book, not reading every word but many and picturing the words penned on paper. Written words of good days and bad, of happiness and regret, smiles and sorrows, also words of misunderstanding, patience, and love. I smile now thinking back to those sunny days on the back step with the dog and mothers words. Her words are kept in storage now for other eyes to see. I hope those eyes will smile the same as I still do, just remembering.

My journal of words is penned in a digital way and my calendar looks much like a medical record of sorts. This is day one, of one full dose of medication, after two weeks off. Yesterday, I began a half dose daily in an attempt to reintroduce the Anastrozole. This is the medication I will take for the next 5-10 years and started January 1st. On January 10th, I received a Zometa injection as a treatment for my bones. I will do this every 6 months during the time I am on the hormone blocker, as I my bone density is not so dense. About 5 days after having the Zometa injection, I began to experience severe joint pain and discomfort followed by swollen cement feet and hands. Stopping the medication was the direction after reporting to my oncologist. Possible side effects that will be considered as I move forward. 

So begins another “new mark” in time on a calendar day anew. As each day moves to the next I continue to recognize all the good within my control. There are things in the world that are bigger than me but I can control change within myself. To you who read these words today or tomorrow, they are written in love! Keep smiling and know that you are loved.