I am excited to write today... and  yet conflicted... simple minded as it may seem... I have started to live a new life... this story is taking a different turn... as in this now... I have started this thing with these finger nails... they have begun to teach me a different patience... this key pad life we have found our selves... whether the auto word device or the swipe your finger around your device... well... I can I guess do either... my preference is to pain startlingly and feverishly type letter by letter... the words I think out loud... yet... another part of me is feeling a leading... and it is one that has a basic root in what looks in many ways to be cult inspired... or cult inspired... I have and remember a life in faith colored by a different lenses... I have for many reasons lived my life in part as person who lived by a set of standards and rules that I always believed were righteous... and in a world where religion is feared... it is because of this kind of faith... I believe that I see it differently... and while I see my faith as just faith I also know that some of my faith is inspired by fear... fear of not being worthy... not doing enough... giving enough... being enough... just enough... yet my wheelhouse is turning again... to which it has at other seasons of time... but in this time... the fire feels a bit... well guided by that fear... directed by the knowing... my music has even taken a turn again... yet... it is my life and who I know that I am... that both keeps my feet firm... and moving forward... knowing a place of familiarity that will keep me grounded... but my life feels like it is upon a precipice... either I move or I jump and with real effort i truly reach... the winds are a changing... and in that changing it is filled with an usual kind of faith... a real faith of trust... I watch and view... I look and envision... I envision what and where life looks like from a not so perfect view... and here is the human that exists in a world that knows little boundry... that questions risk... and often makes life come to a hault... but views all things with reason... so, i step in, this person... this one who loves and lives inside me... who lives my day to day... who know where I am but sees something in the everything attempted... all things considered... vision of the distance... and that is where I want to view my life... in this now... i feel excitement... and now my mind wanders back to that time... when the bible became real life... and my world became the truth breathed into my brain... a faith was believed... believed in the penance... believed in the sacrifice... believed in the truth... the truth that would set you free... but we live in a world that wants to be sincere... wants to be inclusive... wants to an accepting... wants to be loving... but in reality... is just basically for no better purpose than to say... basicly afraid... but hopeful that their ability to reach and to see is truly....a vision... here is where you have ended up... your new vision of life eternal... and life begins as the stone was rolled away... because in all the darkness... in all the grass and baskets... the eggs and the dye... the surprise of a bunny that delivers eggs... all the promise believed in the gift of what is true... May you see the light of forgiveness as the sun begins to shine... and the colors of the creative hand begins to color the landscape to which we see as  the earth... pray this new beginning touch your heart and bring you to your knee and draws you closer to a life that is everlasting... as we seek the city of gold upon the other side... where our gift is forgiveness... and that is truly all we need... amen...