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There is a harsh reality in life that causes our brain to talk us through so many scenarios of life... that we are too small... insignificant... not enough... not even just a little... we dream of who we think we are... of who we wish to be... who we see through the eyes of those who we strive to be... all that we strive for... and when life lays the scene before us... for us to see through your eyes as well as with 20/20 vision... the scene may not resemble the sight we may have planned... and as the truth is unveiled through the visions of those who view it... we see all of so may of the cruel realities of sight only yet unseen... this is when we begin to realize that reality plays out from only the eyes of those who have seen... of those who may have seen... or those that saw at different moments as the lessons presented themselves... the moments of truth... that brings us to an end... when the truth of the story can be told no more... when life in all its harsh reality becomes real... and then for whatever that reason... tomorrow never comes...

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So it goes…

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The memory is a funny being... i see so clearly yesterday... those are the stories we share... our pictures are perfect....full of color... scenes filled with love... life... experience... tasted... treasured... it is part of a bigger picture... i see a life before... when time often stood still just based on a mood... the end of a day... the depth of a moment... captured in time...yet brought to life... through the heart of another... one created in unconditional love... that which brought a light into a world that began dark... story less... distant... misunderstood... yet... as time passed and days of darkness became filled with memories of another day... one who was before a time... who gave an all for the sake of a cause... which unbeknownst to you... your time had not come... yet in the sunrise again on another day... which the heart of this one gave life to another... i for one never felt that truth until I dared to dream... of a small love that would fill a place that was never...
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Well this is the end of the first day of possibly many or even a few... i have tried to remain positive, consistent, hard, just... and right this moment I do not know how I feel... what I should feel... this is truly a place where I knew I was and yet decided to deny... the disease infests, inhabits,  enables the distrust to enter behind a steady fast faith... no matter how distant the goal seems to be... the nearer desire... to want to be relived of a heaviness that can only be explained by the action of others... who have been placed in an environment of trust... misfortune... resort... lack of choice... so to end this day in a place of even more uncertainty... no different from the recent past... i wonder outloud... is this really what you had in mind for me... again...
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