As day become night... my heart remains heavy for so many reasons and yet it reminds me of my need to trust and pray... i have words in my head that a dear friend once said... don't hope pray... to be without out is to be without life... that phrase could cover so many moments... of worry... fear... anger... anguish... regret... loss... an endless list of adjectives to describe what pushes the floor up into your face... that takes the breath from you lungs... that brings moisture to the eye that gravity can only reduce to a tear... this is such a effort to release... yet... my faith is in order entry who know all... sees all... and is all... and yet I am...
It is hard waiting for the other shoe to drop... this can apply to so many areas of life... financial security... job security... health... children... family... all of these things are difficult enough in their own way... what is most difficult is waiting for another to twist the knife... we as human are such flawed creatures to begin with... with the three fingers that point back as we call out the failure of others... it is enough just to keep the eyes in the back of the head open wide to protect us from the inevitable... often we know that which is about to happen... yet there are times when we never see it coming... it is not always about doing what is right... it is more often about doing what is necessary that gets us into trouble... and there in lies the rub... we do what we feel to be right to make the wheel turn and others just can't bare the thought of not having control... whether gained or earned... and as the aftermath of what is left behind... the question remains......
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