I often look to a day with fondness... a day that has past... i have never lived my life looking back... oh regrets... i have a few... but to dwell... well I learned a long time ago that they are what kills the life of a true dreamer... no one else will ever be faulted for a dream of things that could have been... and yet... so when I say I often live within a picture of a past... i truly say that I try with a serious desire to not live with regret... i speak what I feel is only from my heart... i say what has for the moment opened my heart to ridicule and truth... i speak for my own in an attempt to impart what can be said to be with the best of intent... yet while making history with my own words I risk a life of regret... only a regret for what the story is to be told.. from the eyes of another... as many of those words were met with spark... with enlightenment... with vision... with deep thought... and with a scene of what could have been yet never will be... regret is built from the failure of others... as the past gave itself to its own set of desires... to create a change for the world... it is that left over reflection of what was ever to be seen... my picture of what I would have wanted are remarkably different from any of the scenes I had even viewed... my regret is onlying due to my own failure... in life... in parenthood... in reality... in truth... my life failed to be all that I would have wanted... i am thankful for the gifts that were created from a love of a child... from a dream and of hope that I would be enough... that I could be the one l that I dreamed of being... yet what became of my dream showed me to be lacking in the strength and the ability that ever thought to possess... i was and am a failure... i have been honest with those most effective by my childish life... of where I failed and all of my lacking to be what was needed... it is never easy to be what a person shows themselves to be... the mask of deception... the one that is worn by the face of many and lived on the day by day existence... that makes this day... an end to this beginning... watch what life has to share... and watch the changing of the colored and not the paintings that are displayed for your learning of truth... keep your eyes open to the colors of tomorrow and not of the past... shine on bright light... for this is your moment to remember... and never forget...
It is hard waiting for the other shoe to drop... this can apply to so many areas of life... financial security... job security... health... children... family... all of these things are difficult enough in their own way... what is most difficult is waiting for another to twist the knife... we as human are such flawed creatures to begin with... with the three fingers that point back as we call out the failure of others... it is enough just to keep the eyes in the back of the head open wide to protect us from the inevitable... often we know that which is about to happen... yet there are times when we never see it coming... it is not always about doing what is right... it is more often about doing what is necessary that gets us into trouble... and there in lies the rub... we do what we feel to be right to make the wheel turn and others just can't bare the thought of not having control... whether gained or earned... and as the aftermath of what is left behind... the question remains......
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