Treatment #2

To live the life you want to live. What an interesting thought.  From early on life is shaped by only what you know. I spent my life with dreams of things of greatness.  Of knowing at a moment I desired to grow up to be and rise to be all that was hoped to be. To strive to be seen at the top. While living days through a lense of judgement. An eye of critical thinking. To grow and to be all that was imagined.  Then as the decades moved forward and age counted out time, visions changed. I don't always believe that I lived up to that which was once seen. My desire to be the person the bar was raised for, I have felt the failure of only being what I am. And from sounds of the past the voices still resonate in my visions and are sometimes very overwhelming. The affects of language shape us. Words that put restraint on vision. That ring choirs of tones that again shape in a larger world. Which begs the question of all those sounds and how we use them as we grow. Do we really impose what past presented into future beings. Are the spoken agreements of life the measurements that we raise our bar to achieve. We are what we know and is all that we know truly what we teach. From this we create. We sit back and wonder where the bullies come from. Where hatred is easy and venomous words are spoken like breathing. Where mean spirits are nurtured by a desire to relive a life lost. I am guilty of being a part of teaching all that I know, all that I am. I have seen the affects of what I am and what is created by what I know.  My mistakes have been many and my regard for what I created has not always been as it should be. I have vowed long ago to live outside regret and in so many ways I have and yet in an after life of what was I have become the one that I always hoped to not be. I give love to those who have come from who i have become and my hope is the the cycle is only perpetuated with clear vision by those whose lives i have created....