Day 19 Looks like this

I keep asking myself, how am I supposed to feel? Today, I ask this question one more time. 

On Friday past, day 16 of this event, was a day met with anxiety as I made a realization that morning that something was in my assessment, terribly wrong. I was certain that everything I had done up to this point was exactly as I have been instructed and yet something did not look right to me. The left breast which is the side the cancer was found was in my opinion… well something was not right. I brought it up to George and he took a look but wasn’t sure. I knew and the fear was setting in. 

This day was my first oncology appointment since the procedure and I was aware that from all the surgeon had led us to believe, he had done his work well and that there was likely going to be little if any chemotherapy required. This was what I had trusted to be the case and was a direct relation to why I had chosen to have a double mastectomy if the first. I had been assigned Dr. Dawaod for my ensuing visits and was happy to have had confirmation from someone who too had this same doctor with good results and experience. 

Once we begin our visit with Dr. Dawaod, the visit went well and lots of information was given but all seemed to confirm what the surgeon had said. It was discussed that Dr. Dawaod would like to send the tumor for additional genetic results to see if indeed the chemo would be needed and those decisions can be made with great resolve once the genetic results are back. When asked if this is his recommended course, it was said yes, so naturally I agreed. The genetic process take 3-4 weeks but once received they will recommend if any treatments then on to hormone therapy as well. This is all I can live with.