Skip to main content

Let the games begin…

 I have been sick for 2 years. While this may not be the root cause to my other issues it is a cause. The Crohns was caught early and has become manageable and yet we still are working on that. I am down to 124 as of yesterday and now I just eat whatever whenever and as much as I can and just deal with the stomach issues as they come. 


The fibromyalgia is a wrench in my life that I have learned to deal with but it has gotten worse. My pain has increased but I manage it as I have for years. My joints are suffering but not the worst of my issues. 


I initially found a lump on the left side. It felt small but not right. My PA felt it right away and began the process for a mammogram and ultrasound. We had a bit of an insurance gap that held things but kept moving forward slow but sure. Both procedures were scheduled for May 17. From then till now I feel it has increased in size and tenderness. 


During my visit and exam with the surgeon, we covered a great deal of information. It is an invasive ductal carcinoma stage 2. The surgeon referred to it as mid range. He began his course of action conversation with a mastectomy then covered lumpectomy. 


A lumpectomy would include radiation 5 days a week for 30 days with perhaps chemotherapy after depending on results from lymph nodes post surgery. 


A mastectomy would likely not require either or at least minimal depending on results from lymph nodes post surgery. 


George and I had a long discussion prior to this visit with the surgeon. It has been a long time of not feeling well and I am just ready to move forward with life and feel better. While I remain realistic I want to be optimistic too and want to focus on getting better. I am not excited about radiation or chemotherapy. My decision is to have a double mastectomy. It may seem extreme but it is my decision that is about me. This is what I want and the surgeon agreed. 


Surgery is likely July 6. I say likely cause the surgeon is having surgery next week and he knows he is scheduled the week after. He does his work on Wednesday and is assisted by his wife, who he say has a gift for stitch. 


I think at present I have covered everything. Know I will be in touch as things progress. Thank you for your continued prayers, wishes, love, and support. 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The memory is a funny being... i see so clearly yesterday... those are the stories we share... our pictures are perfect....full of color... scenes filled with love... life... experience... tasted... treasured... it is part of a bigger picture... i see a life before... when time often stood still just based on a mood... the end of a day... the depth of a moment... captured in time...yet brought to life... through the heart of another... one created in unconditional love... that which brought a light into a world that began dark... story less... distant... misunderstood... yet... as time passed and days of darkness became filled with memories of another day... one who was before a time... who gave an all for the sake of a cause... which unbeknownst to you... your time had not come... yet in the sunrise again on another day... which the heart of this one gave life to another... i for one never felt that truth until I dared to dream... of a small love that would fill a place that was never...
There is an interesting pattern weaved in the very nature of life... paths cross for a reason... woven into a fabric of truth... alway one side... circumstantial... vision either viewed from a clear glass or darkly ensconced... is a one sided tale... of this story you hear is my own... i tell you to let you hear the hurt in my voice... to be recognized for the person that I saw fit to inhabit... to impose my truth into your life at the risk of taking over your very thought... yet I'm here because of a day only a scene in the past... i dare to let you win over my being... fighting within your agenda... because I stood today... again today... on the stage that is set to each owns choosing... when the fight became greater within... and the one from the bottom dared to rise to the top... this is what today was made of... of the clarity of word... expressed from a heart that literally had no more strength than to stand on your own two feet... and lead by the example you strive to achiev...
Well this is the end of the first day of possibly many or even a few... i have tried to remain positive, consistent, hard, just... and right this moment I do not know how I feel... what I should feel... this is truly a place where I knew I was and yet decided to deny... the disease infests, inhabits,  enables the distrust to enter behind a steady fast faith... no matter how distant the goal seems to be... the nearer desire... to want to be relived of a heaviness that can only be explained by the action of others... who have been placed in an environment of trust... misfortune... resort... lack of choice... so to end this day in a place of even more uncertainty... no different from the recent past... i wonder outloud... is this really what you had in mind for me... again...