As day become night... my heart remains heavy for so many reasons and yet it reminds me of my need to trust and pray... i have words in my head that a dear friend once said... don't hope pray... to be without out is to be without life... that phrase could cover so many moments... of worry... fear... anger... anguish... regret... loss... an endless list of adjectives to describe what pushes the floor up into your face... that takes the breath from you lungs... that brings moisture to the eye that gravity can only reduce to a tear... this is such a effort to release... yet... my faith is in order entry who know all... sees all... and is all... and yet I am...
As I reflect on the past weeks I am taken by the fact that my hopes and dreams… while still big and positive… have again been placed into a reality that is… adjusted. This business of cancer is a difficult one. Once you think you have seen it all, you see a different view of life… once again. Let me begin by saying that I have been fortunate from the start for the care given by Rocky Mountain Cancer Center, those who work within the walls, those whose care is from behind a desk, and those who are never directly involved in my care but are there nonetheless, leaves you with NO doubt of the care given. I began my new medication on January 1st. This was used as a land mark day for reference and it just made sense as I seem to have difficulty with the order of my days. My new reality requires that I take a hormone blocker daily knowing that it will require a 5 possibly 10 year commitment. Edit in… the results of my bone density scan provided additional details, some that I was n...
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