I have for the past many years... greeted the first snow with a degree of... well... for lack of a better word, dread... and loathing... topped with a bit of hate... fear... lots of sarcasm... coldness... wet... uncertainty... and my i say again, dread... i have for the past many years heard and witnessed with a good deal of doubt yet hope... we are outta here... this is what my abominable says upon the first walk in after the first measurable amount... dry or wet... fluffy or heavy with moisture... shovel or blower... it's always the same... we are outta here... i picture one day near the end of a day... what becomes the preparation... do we agree to disagree... do we map a wall and throw a dart... each or agreed upon... do we go where we know the heart is... do we sell it all... take only what is necessary... the most minimal amount... back a ditty bag... and begin anew... many of the recent events in our life would be significant reason to begin the process of thought... yet... again... these same 4 words were uttered along with a few other choice expletives... my head swims with the possibility... my dream is to head home... summer is beautiful... winter is often mild yet... it does still snow... but gone in very short order... now we are doomed for at least 4 months... but if I can't choose my heart... i see the south... i want warmth... i want sun... many days... for many days in a row... yet... when I have to put myself out of the me me me mode... i hear my sweet man and his clearer thought and rational... say to me you can always put on more clothes when your cold... you are either stuck inside and can only take off so muxh... hum....such food for thought these 4 words are...
As I reflect on the past weeks I am taken by the fact that my hopes and dreams… while still big and positive… have again been placed into a reality that is… adjusted. This business of cancer is a difficult one. Once you think you have seen it all, you see a different view of life… once again. Let me begin by saying that I have been fortunate from the start for the care given by Rocky Mountain Cancer Center, those who work within the walls, those whose care is from behind a desk, and those who are never directly involved in my care but are there nonetheless, leaves you with NO doubt of the care given. I began my new medication on January 1st. This was used as a land mark day for reference and it just made sense as I seem to have difficulty with the order of my days. My new reality requires that I take a hormone blocker daily knowing that it will require a 5 possibly 10 year commitment. Edit in… the results of my bone density scan provided additional details, some that I was n...
Comments
Post a Comment