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How interesting life is based on the life of the past... and how interesting life is based on the sounds that is received in the brain... i remember so fondly the music of my past... the history involved from the stories heard... from the ideas brought to reality... from a moment of equality... where the playing field wasn't only leveled but actually made a reality... when the stories heard from the vinyl that spun was a story lived and felt in the gut... when the pictures painted from the cord that was played was not only what was felt at the core... when the beat struck with a beat that pounded hard... when the floor sang songs heard as the deaf listen for the first time... where did the sound begin in your life... was it in sadness... in joy...was it melancholy... or was it a love... the first... or the best... the worst... or the end of time... when did your heart begin to feel... the honesty of a tune that still resonates within you... do you still hear that passion... have you seen the path to which your travels fulfill... are you still listening boys and girls... music is truth... a flavor palatable when heard... can you still taste what once was... is your passion with you still... taste and see... live and hear... open your eyes to the voice of your hearing my friends... music... music... sounds of life... what you hear may be all you ever know...

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So it goes…

As I reflect on the past weeks I am taken by the fact that my hopes and dreams… while still big and positive… have again been placed into a reality that is… adjusted. This business of cancer is a difficult one. Once you think you have seen it all, you see a different view of life… once again. Let me begin by saying that I have been fortunate from the start for the care given by Rocky Mountain Cancer Center, those who work within the walls, those whose care is from behind a desk, and those who are never directly involved in my care but are there nonetheless, leaves you with NO doubt of the care given.  I began my new medication on January 1st. This was used as a land mark day for reference and it just made sense as I seem to have difficulty with the order of my days. My new reality requires that I take a hormone blocker daily knowing that it will require a 5 possibly 10 year commitment.  Edit in… the results of my bone density scan provided additional details, some that I was n...
The memory is a funny being... i see so clearly yesterday... those are the stories we share... our pictures are perfect....full of color... scenes filled with love... life... experience... tasted... treasured... it is part of a bigger picture... i see a life before... when time often stood still just based on a mood... the end of a day... the depth of a moment... captured in time...yet brought to life... through the heart of another... one created in unconditional love... that which brought a light into a world that began dark... story less... distant... misunderstood... yet... as time passed and days of darkness became filled with memories of another day... one who was before a time... who gave an all for the sake of a cause... which unbeknownst to you... your time had not come... yet in the sunrise again on another day... which the heart of this one gave life to another... i for one never felt that truth until I dared to dream... of a small love that would fill a place that was never...
Well this is the end of the first day of possibly many or even a few... i have tried to remain positive, consistent, hard, just... and right this moment I do not know how I feel... what I should feel... this is truly a place where I knew I was and yet decided to deny... the disease infests, inhabits,  enables the distrust to enter behind a steady fast faith... no matter how distant the goal seems to be... the nearer desire... to want to be relived of a heaviness that can only be explained by the action of others... who have been placed in an environment of trust... misfortune... resort... lack of choice... so to end this day in a place of even more uncertainty... no different from the recent past... i wonder outloud... is this really what you had in mind for me... again...